Warming the WoodCockles of their Hearts by Janet Gough

 Woodcocks, coloured pencils on graphite under-layer, with fine art cards by Paula Kuitenbrouwer

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Janet, linguist, lexicographer, editor and translator, and my good friend, has felt inspired by my woodcocks to write a tongue-twisting, clever and engaging story. I have always found my woodcocks charming. But Janet not only sees two flirtatious woodcocks, she sees a few other birds as well. I call upon all ornithologists and bird lovers to identify Janet’s hidden birds.

Warming the Woodcockles of their Hearts

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“Alright, Hen?” said Mr WoodCock, with a distinctly Scottish brogue.

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“Well, that one’s certainly a wee bitty woodCocksure,” thought Ms WoodCock to herself. “Still, at least he speaks the patter, not woodMockCockney.” Aloud, she said, “So, I expect you have some woodCock-and-Bullfinch story to tell me?”

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Mr WoodCock woodCocked an eye at her. Ms WoodCock woodCocked an ear to hear what he had to say.

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“They’ve got woodCock-a-leekie soup on at the woodCockles and woodCockatoos tonight,” he rejoined, going off at full woodCock. “And ye cannae woodCock a snook at that, can ye? Get yer glad rags on! We’re goin’ dancin’!”

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Ms WoodCock preened a little. “WoodCock-a-doodle-do!” she exclaimed.

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Strutting like a true woodCock-of-the-walk, Mr WoodCock, the wee woodCockscomb, crowed: “And they’ve got woodCocktails! We’ll dance till woodCockCrow!”

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And so they did. And were woodCock-a-hoop, the whole night through.

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Janet Gough

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Janet is a freelance lexicographer, editor, and translator, based in Kirkintilloch, Scotland. She can be contacted at janet.gough2@ntlworld.com and via her LinkedIn profile here. Contact Janet for editing your blog posts and book scripts.

Paula Kuitenbrouwer

P.S. Michael Watson from Dreaming the World uploaded a comment that learned me the American name for a woodcock, being a Timberdoodle. I’m not the only one who loves that perfect name. Gerwyn Moseley sent me a limerick:

A particularly short-sighted timberdoodle

Fell in love with a miniature poodle;

He wooed her with worms,

And things covered with germs;

(She’d have rather a nice apfelstrudel)

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